The Great High Def Conspiracy

There’s a conspiracy against me. Maybe just me, maybe several people, but for timing, it seems to be me. That conspiracy is that ‘they’, ‘they’ being the shadowy organisation working against me, don’t want me to watch Doctor Who in HD. Now, I don’t know anything about this sinister group, I don’t know who they are or why the idea of top quality picture for Time Lord adventuring offends them, but I’m convinced of it.

Now before I put forward my evidence, let me point out that there are certain conditions of watching HD TV that I am not prepared to meet. I have already purchased a HD TV set, I have purchased a PS3 for playing blu-rays and I have purchased the required HDMI cables and optical SPDIF cables to play through a surround system. This is a hefty initial layout. Therefore, I refuse to pay an ongoing subscription to access HD channels which will be broadcast for free. If I wanted to watch 24/Lost or other Sky 1 show in HD, I accept I would have to pay an additional monthly premium to do so. But not for the BBC! No sir! Not because I question the contents value, far from it, in fact I’d willingly pay more for the BBC than for Sky (but that’s a seperate rant) but because, by it’s nature, I have paid for the BBC’s HD content in the license. And it transmits in a non-subscription nature on Freeview HD already. So I’m not further lining Sky or Virgins pockets for it. Maybe this stubborn attitude is the worst culprit for working against me? But let’s irrationally assume it isn’t...

So my current options. Well, mainly none. Freeview HD is not available in my area for sometime. This isn’t my favoured option as a new receiver is currently looking to set me back over £100. And I have a lot of equipment and a lot of remotes, frankly I’m running out of space, batteries and sockets. (I do accept that some new equipment is going to be necessary, as long as it’s not an ongoing cost.) So, setback one, lack of coverage for the very area I just happen to live in?! Hey, didn’t Sony bring out an add-on for the PS3 that receives Freeview and utilises the console as a HDD recorder? They did! And in many countries, isn’t that capable of receiving their free to air HD channels? It is! So if I get that device, I’ll be set at least for when Freeview HD comes to my town? No. Because this country is using a different standard for encoding, which that device won’t support. Arguments about the superior quality of that standard etc. are irrelevant, when setback one is gone, setback two kicks in and ensures I need higher priced and bulkier equipment and I can’t utilise an existing device. And with the way it’s all wired up, that’s a shame, cos I’m going to have to pull down the whole house of cards and begin again to put anything new in.

So, is there another way? Hey, wait a second, HD programmes are available on the iPlayer right? And the iPlayer has a icon on my PS3 right? Surely a machine built for HD would run this perfectly right? Well, it appears we cannot know, as it doesn’t allow the HD content. And even if it did, my broadband connection would not support HD content streaming to any watchable standard. What about the option to download a programme to watch within 30 days? Also a feature not available on the PS3 version. Setback 4 has made it’s move.

Hang on a second! My fiancées laptop has a blu-ray drive and an HDMI socket! Under windows that will allow me to download the HD version of Victory of the Daleks, plug it into my TV and presto!

Enter Setback 5. I imagine that the video hardware in the laptop is sufficient to play a Blu-ray, but not quite enough to output iPlayer to a TV. The result is the slightest of judders to the picture. Oh, it’s slight, it’s so close to not being there, but it is there and it’s impossible to ignore. And the less you ignore it, the more distracting it is.

If only the iPlayer desktop utility would work in Linux. Maybe then my desktop PC would be able to use it. Well hang on, maybe it does. So I checked and yep, runs fine in Linux. My desktop has a decent video card with HDMI out too, so maybe this would be something I could utilise? I’m going to call this setback 5.5 as I never seriously thought I could utilise it. I can’t lug my PC down and up stairs every week to connect it to the TV. That’s madness.

But hang on a second! If iPlayer desktop works in Linux, can I not install a version of Linux onto the PS3? That already lives downstairs and is connected to the TV! And while I had to eliminate it from downloaded HD programmes through the normal PS3 iPlayer, running the desktop through Linux on it should be fine right?

Setback 6 then burst into the room and slapped me hard across the face! I went onto the web to look up the best Linux distros to use on a PS3. And that’s when I discovered that the latest firmware update on the PS3 removed the facility to install other operating systems! Noooooo! So close! I was literally one Ubuntu install away from enjoying HD Doctor Who and it was snatched away. This PS3 update is the latest update. This very month. Seems something of a coincidence that it should come out the very month the new Doctor Who series begins.

6 setbacks to me watching one programme? Really? It seems more like a conspiracy than a coincidence. You may scoff and say I’m paranoid, crazy even, but clearly someone’s out to stop me watching Hi-Def Doctor Who. Or at least force me to await the series box set. But who would be behind this? Sky? Virgin? They may wish to force me into paying for their HD service. It’s not the Daleks, they made themselves all pretty and colourful for a HD series, they’re clearly into it. Maybe President Logan from 24, he’s into conspiracies and he might want me to get Sky’s HD to see him in 1080p? Maybe it’s Amazon, wanting to make sure I buy a new Freeview box from them, and the Doctor Who blu-rays?

Ultimately I think it’s the same group who make those people who leave their trolleys across an aisle to block it, go to the supermarket at the exact time that I go!