Wrath of Khan Hi-Def

Well I was fortunate enough to receive the Original Trek movies Blu-Ray set for Christmas, yay!

So today I've the opportnity to sit and watch some of them. It's morning still, so I've got me a big coffee and assorted snacks and I'm ready to go. I thought for a giggle, I would write a blog as I watch Wrath of Khan. (I'm starting with Khan. I will watch Motion Picture at some point, but let's be honest, when a Trekker gets this set, which film is he most excited about seeing?) Admittedly it's an odd giggle, but what the hey, if I find I've just typed out pointless ramblings, I'll still post it, have you read the crap I write? I just ramble on about geeky stuff! That's what this blog is!!! If I can let some of it out here then perhaps my patient fiancee will be spared some, so she wont completly lose the will to live, so she won't leave me for a non-geek and I won't be alone! It's my future happiness here!

Anyway, I have digressed. First impressions: Not too impressed with the picture. It's no better than the DVD. Wait, hang on, my TV has been moved to a preset colour setup for gaming. I'll just switch it back.
That's better! That's really good actually. Whew.

Sound is also good, I can hear the ship noises all around me in the surround, clear quality. Cool, so hs is good. By the time of my earlier rambling, we're already on the Reliant, orbiting Ceti Alpha V. Or VI. There will be consfusion. Reliant's bridge looks better, some more detail stands out, some clearer blue trims. And the same on the Regula spacelab, lots more shades of browns standing out. Makes it look more 70's than ever!

Ooh, the Ceti Alpha whatever surface looks better. Rock and sand actually clear rather than blurred with the wind.

Hopefully soon I will comment on the movie, not just what things look clearer. But it's always the way when you see a blu-ray of an old favourite. I'm looking forward to hearing @nathwilson's thoughts on Highlander in hi-def.

Uh-oh, Chekov's panicked! This is an awesome shot as the camera pans to reveal the group stood outside the ship as Terrell and Chekov leave it.

Ah, Khan. Why have you aged while your followers all look, frankly, younger than any of your followers from Space Seed? Have they all had children then died out? Apart from Khan?

Ricardo Montalban is always a pleasure. He's doing his creepy bit now. I'd love to hear him talk like that at the post office, just buying stamps in his creepy and dramatic voice.

'AdMIRal?' 'ADmiral?' Brilliant!

'It was only the fact of my genetically engineered intellect that allowed us to survive' Makes me wonder what he did with that intellect? It took beyond normal intelligence to say 'hey, hide in the cargo containers and let's make some protective clothes!' did it? Oh, t I'm doing that thing where I try pick holes in it. Strangely it's a symbol of how much I love this film is why I do it! Seriously!

Ugh, the ear slugs. They're so gross, I remember as a child not being able to look at this bit.

Ah, here we go, they're coming to the Enterprise! Always love these bits.

Sulu's 'I'm delighted, any chance to go aboard the Enterprise' is such an awesome line to reflect the fan feelings for the movie. We're all delighted Sulu!!

I am a bit disappointed these blu-rays are the theatrical releases, as I've come to love the extra bits in the directors cut on DVD. Still, it's the version I grew up watching so I'm not going to complain too much.

Enterprise leaving Spacedock. I always enjoy bits like this, with all the lights coming on.

It's a fun sequence when Spock has Saavik take the ship out. Slightly odd, I don't know why Kirk is that worried, Sulu's steering after all. But Saavik's face when she's asked to take the conn, while and Admiral stands behind her! She's a Lieutenant though, shouldn't be too tricky. Hell on Voyager they'd give Ensign Kim the bridge for night shifts. But I'm in no mood to get into a Voyager discussion now, I'm in a good mood!

Slightly confused why Marcus doesn't expect the Reliant for 3 months if Ceti Alpha VI checked out. What would they be doing for those 3 months? Always enjoy Chekovs uncomfortable grinning while he tries to fake his way though the communication.

Going to have to pause it now, I need to run grab my charger.

Got it, right, where are we. Ok, Kirk's had a slightly odd conversation with Saavik in the turbolift. Not really sure why there's a thing about her hair. Anyhow, now Kirk recieves the communication from Carol Marcus. Excellent, now things are starting to happen! It's excellent, the first half hour sets up the necessary histories for Khan, puts the other players into place and sets the collision course as the Enterprise is summoned that way. It's building the excitement to the confrontation perfectly. Now we have Kirk and Spock discuss he command issue so we can bypass that tricky Admiralty issue with Kirk, also serving to give Kirk and Spock another nice moment, got to show the friendship that makes these two characters.

Khan's friend is trying to dissuade Khan from facing Kirk, pointing out that with a ship and freedom from exile, they don't need to hunt Kirk down. This shows that Khan has an obsession to go with his vendetta. So if we didn't already know he's dangerous...

The Genesis device. I start to realise just what a packed movie this is, beyond the veangeful Khan, the hijacking of the Reliant and everything leading to the confrontation, we now have the ultimate weapon of biblical proportions. Just to through an awesome concept in there. But it never feels rushed, which is good. There's a lot going on, but it all seems to flow naturally in the story. And of course means that we can have a Spock/McCoy exchange with the good Doctor getting emotional! Always a joy! 'My god, the mans talking about logic!'

Ah, Reliant approaches! Have to say what a masterpiece James Horners score is for this movie. Perfect all the way through, it perfectly enhances the mood for each scene.

I love the sequence of shots with the command chair in the middle, so you get a sense of the Khan/Kirk conflict with them facing each other in mirrored shots, even before Kirk knows he's facing an enemy.

Kirk looks utterly defeated when Khan signals demanding surrender. Caught unawares and the ship crippled, he actually looks defeated. But in the course of the conversation you suddenly realise he's planning. He's playing for time and he's worked out a plan. Suddenly he's Kirk again. And the music shifts perfectly to accompany this, which is marvellous. You go from despair to excitement so quickly, right up to Kirk's explosive response! (which is what I believe it's called on the soundtrack.)

Of course, the euphoria of the counter attack is suddenly cut short when Scotty arrives with the injured engineer. Scotty, why have you bought him to the bridge? Sickbay you dumbass!! Thankfully Kirk turns him round and gets him to sickbay, but too late. Of course the directors cut reveals that lad is Scotty's nephew, which I think adds a bit and frankly gives Scotty more impact in the film in which he has little to do but make repairs.

Another beautiful moment when Spock tells Jim to be careful and McCoy leans forward and pointedly retorts, 'WE will'.

The space lab is kinda creepy now it's all empty. Hey look, someone stuffed Chekov in a shoe cupboard! Walter Koenig's best tearful acting! 'Made us say lies!!' Then when Kirk talks to Captain Terrell, Chekov stares blankly towards the camera. Look at his unsettling stare! He barely blinks!

Kirk and Spocks coded exchange is marvellous, once you know it, it's so blindingly obvious!

Kirk's stunned look when he realises he's been punching his own son is funny. Another plotline in there! There's loads.

Wait! Chekov's turned traitor! Those dirty ear slugs! Terrell shoots himself, Chekov just collapses and the slug moves out. Gross.

Ooh, we know what's coming up! Kirk taunts Khan that he's 'managed to kill just about everyone else' and Khan realises he can just maroon Kirk there. What can Kirk say to that? Well, Shatner contorts his face in rage and screams 'KHAAAAAN! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!' I bet William Shatner loves it when people go up to him in the street and scream that at him!

So Kirk and Carol have a little chat about their son and we see the Genesis cave, a little demonstration of the scope of the device. Kirk reflects on feeling his age again, which has been recurring through the film.

Now the revelation that Kirk cheated on the Kobyashi Maru, (wonder if we'll ever see that!!) and cockily says 'I don't like to lose' then hails Spock! Perfect timing. Explains to Saavik that him and Spock coded their earlier conversation and they head to the bridge. Now we're all excited for round 2!

The climatic battle in the nebula is awesome. It's very tense, as the ships could see one another any moment. Having them blindly search for each other makes for very exciting sequences. Horribly tense as well when you realise the Reliant is heading straight for Enterprise before they do. But naturally Kirk gets the edge and Reliant comes off worse. Of course, Enterprise has taken damage and main powers out. Uh-oh...

It's Spock who see's Khan's weakness, pointing out to Kirk that Khan's pattern is 2 dimensional. So Kirk decided to use up and down as directions. And isn't it an incedible moment when Enterprise rises up behind Reliant!? Now Khan's gonna get it! Woo! Explosions!!

Of course Khan is a stubborn bastard, so though his ship's all but destroyed, he's still gotta try to kill everything in sight, even if it means he goes down too. He's activtings the Genesis device and quoting like a madman. It's fantastic of course, he's a marvellous bad guy. Obsessed, veangeful, intelligent, literate and a ham.

Hey, where's Spock going?

Deforest Kelly is doing a great Karl Urban impression here. Hey, Spock's nerve pinched him! Remember? Remember what? Hey, don't go in there! There's radiation!

He never listens.

Of course as Spock opens up the thing he works on, it sounds like Scotty shouts out 'Nooo, bad dog!' Never worked out why.

When Kirk asks the time and Sulu says 'we're not going to make it are we?' I'm always reminded of The Corbomite Maneuver, when Sulu counts down to Balok destroying the Enterprise and is accused of an annoying fascination. Seems he's a bit defeatist.

Yay, warps back on line, and they escape!

Again, the music changes tone when Kirk notices Spock's empty chair. Brilliantly done. And Kirk's race to engineering is intercut with the birth of a planet so well.

I always smile when I remember watching this with my fiancee. Scotty says Spock's dead already, but Spock stumbles to his feet, so Faye said 'he's not dead, that guys a rubbish doctor.' So I had to point out Scotty's an engineer. Since then she's had tremendous trouble telling McCoy and Scotty apart.

There's little I can say about Spock's death. It's done very well and is a very emotional scene. For the funeral, Shatner plays Kirk so well as a man desperately trying not to break down in front of everyone. Shame about those sodding bagpipes though. They always spoil this bit for me. Particularly for a Vulcan, I think that song is an odd choice.

So we have a resolution on the Kirk's son thing, so we see David accept his father. It's a good scene, though I always thought it was a little unnecessary as they just kill David off later so the whole Kirk has a son thing for me seemed pointless.

Now I see it's more about Kirk aging storyline in this film, finding himself with a grown son he never saw. And the last scenes underscore new life and new beginnings, he now has time with his son and there's a new planet and he feels young again. I think that might have been what they were going for.

It also reminds me to have another go at reading a Tale of two Cities.

And to further underscore the new life, looks, there's Spock's torpedo on the planet and he's going to do the 'Space, the final frontier bit.'

And credits!

Wow, that makes for a long blog! Excuse any errors, my proofreading will be tricky this time. But those are some of my thoughts on Star Trek 2 as I watched it. Sort of a rubbish commentary. You could put the film on and read this as you go! Or probably not.

Anyway, I'm going to watch 3 next, after I go to the toilet. I'm not doing a commentary blog with that though, I'm tired from typing!

Convenient Amnesia

Last week I was having a debate with a aficionado of the superhero world regarding the TV Series Smallville. Basically he banned watching of it in his house, due to it's 'factual inaccuracies'.

Factual Inaccuracies, I should clarify, refer to the differences between events portrayed in Smallville and ones portrayed in the comics. Or the movies.

Now I'm not always the biggest fan of Smallville. I found that the earlier series had a fairly poor 'monster of the week' format with the recurrence 'oh X found some Kryptonite and it mutated them with weird powers' kinda stories. While it grew out of that and improved greatly, I still tended to find the episodes a bit hit and miss in places. But overall I've found it generally annoying.

So I countered this statement of factual inaccuracies, by pointing out that Superman gets a new origin story pretty much every decade. Add to that the fact of the DC multiverse allowing for either infinite or at least 52 versions of Superman, can you not just let the differences in story slide and enjoy it as a different take on the Superman legend? I mean the basic key elements are there, he's from another planet, sent to earth when Krypton was destroyed, crash landed in Kansas and was raised on a farm. Sure, I guess that there's some character appearences that can feel a bit 'gimmicky' and don't always reflect the characters as we know them from the comics. Bart Allen's appearence as a superfast thief for instance. But then everytime Bane is portrayed by any Batman thing that's not the comics I get mad, so Smallville's transgressions in that area barely register.

So the following point of annoyance that was raised, is that why would characters like Lex Luthor not remember Clark and the odd occurances from their youth? Well, this is fine, assuming, that the grown up characters will revert to the accepted status of film and comics. Again, as an alternate reality, I'd argue that this Lex Luthor could concievably investigate Clark forever. But, and I liked this point, is that argument not just ignoring the concept of future storylines? They way that after the Phantom Menace came out, everyone cried out 'Why doesn't C-3PO remember all this stuff?' Ok, 'everyone' is an unfair generalisation, but I heard the question a lot. Did all those people forget that a trilogy means 3 films? Which, minus the one you just watched, leaves two more films to go? But surely a story which involved Threepio forgetting he knew Anakin and so on, would be a vast epic that could never be contained in a mere 2 movies? Oh, wait, they say at the end of Revenge of the Sith that they'll wipe his memory. Ok then.

In the same vein, I would imagine that there's scope in future Smallville storylines to have traumas occur that cause characters to forget key facts. Actually, now I think about it, that happens in Smallville every third episode doesn't it? How many times did someone find Clark's secret only to suffer conveniant amnesia 3 minutes before the end credits?

Anyway, it was a fun discussion. Right up till the point when someone said that Smallville using Green Arrow was good, certainly better than using Green Lantern. After all, what's the point of a guy with a magic ring that doesn't work against yellow?

And that's when I got mad...

Spoiler warnings

I've been thinking lately about how I watched my favourite sci-fi shows in my youth and how I see them now. Things are a bit different. For a start there was no internet back then (not as a common household fixture at least). Also, as a child, I had much less awareness of news articles. The upshot is that I was happily watching my favourite shows with little to no idea what might be coming up.

As an example, when I first started watching Doctor Who it was in the 80's. When Sylvester McCoy became the Doctor, the first time I saw what his outfit was like was when I watched the show. Now I don't know if this was due to a lower amount of coverage of the show at that point in it's history or my own general ignorance of the media. I suspect the latter. But that doesn't happen now. It's almost impossible to have missed the shots of Matt Smith in his bow tie. It's similarly impossible to have missed the media follow up to the announcment of his casting. Or David Tennant's announcment he'd be leaving.

With the recent Star Trek movie, I'd had a informal policy of not letting myself get too excited by it, to avoid possible disappointment. (So not an issue in the end!) As such I'd not sought out any information about it really. However, despite this, I went into that movie knowing that it involved Kirk going to the acadamy, a Romulan enemy, a time travel element and the appearence of the older Spock. Those are fairly key points to the story and they were really widely known. But I remember the days when each episode of The Next Generation was a complete surprise to me, I never had any idea what could be happening.

I'm basically missing the times when I could watch a tv show or film that I'd love and be in complete ignorance of what awaited me. I'm probably being a bit unrealistic in thinking this could ever really be re-captured though. Nor am I placing any real blame on anyone. After all, I could avoid this information. Though in fairness, to properly avoid all information, I would have to forgo the internet, newspapers and tv news to be completely safe, and I'd end up cutting myself off from a lot of information.

And it's not just spoilers. Though those are the worst parts of it. To really be able to enjoy a production in complete ignorance of upcoming plot twists or character appearences, I'd have to avoid reviews. General news of upcoming releases. Cast and creator interviews. Even trailers. And in a lot of cases I enjoy these things. If I see of an interview with Leonard Nimoy, I'm probably going to find it interesting and wouldn't want to deprive myself of it purely because he might let something, although minor, slip about the Star Trek movie.

The main reason this has been on my mind is the realisation of how much we already know about the Doctor Who specials coming over christmas. I won't list all the things that I've heard about in case you are forunate enough not to have heard them. And what I have heard are many things that just make me more excited about seeing it. There's some awesome stuff in there and I can't wait to see how it all comes together. And that's why a lot of this information comes out. It's to promote the show/movie. Give a preview, get people excited, bring in the fans, have a success.

But there's a little part of me that has a wistful longing for ignorance. It wonders how awesome would that episode be if I were to watch it knowing absolutely nothing that was happening? Imagine if I didn't even know it was to be David Tennant's last show? Imagine! How mindblowing a climax would that be??

But all shows need some promotion. After all, a mindblowing episode of Doctor Who with constant surprises would be useless if I didn't know it was on.

I do think sometimes it would be fun to have that childlike ignorance of the media and internet reports and enjoy everything as completely new and surprising.

Though I suspect todays youth probably have a lot more exposure to this information.

Been being nerdy

Crap! Crap crap crappity crap! I've gone almost a month with no post! So much for posing more regularly! And I got a netbook for my 30th (thankyou Faye!), so there's not really a good excuse, I should be able to post a blog anywhere! I am hopefully going to post more, but I have filled my time with nerdy activities.

I was a bit unsure what to talk about. Obviously there was the Doctor Who special recently, but you know what? I've been massively in a Star Trek mood of late. So I'm going to reflect a little on some of my Star Trek viewing in the last month.

I got the 2nd series of the original Trek on DVD for my birthday. I got the 1st series a few months back and have watched a few episodes here and there, but slowly been working through it with my fiancee who, bless her, is enduring this experience to share time with me. So far we've found that when I say 'this is one of my favourites!' she normally doesn't like it! And I mean she doesn't like The Corbomite Maneuver or Balance of Terror. I am aghast! However, she apparently enjoyed Miri, The Conscience of the King and The Menagerie, so all is not lost. On top of this, she has the charming habit of pretending that she thinks the recent movie is part of the same continuity to wind me up. And an odd thing that she keeps mixing Scotty and McCoy up. I can't figure that last one out, but I don't think that's a deliberate thing!

Visually these remastered episodes look amazing. The picture is all cleaned up and looks great. The effects shots though...wow. All the shots of ships and planets in space have been replaced with new effects. And they look really good. But more than that, they don't look hugely out of place. A lot of effort has been put into replicating the style of the original series effects. The Enterprise moves and orbits like she always has, but as a cgi model looks more like a spaceship than a model of one. And in many cases things have been beefed up. Planets all look better, and shots of outposts on planets look awesome. Watch The Naked Time for a great example of this.

I don't know if there's been a negative reaction to these sets, I've deliberately avoided finding out. It's one of those things that I can imagine 'purists' ranting that it spoils the feel of the episodes and the original effects are part of the charm. If so that's fine, but I enjoy the new visuals, and I always found the charm of the original series to be in the characters and the stories. And these are as strong as ever.

I may get a little defensive here, but I've got the feeling on occasion that I'm not supposed to 'get' the Original Series as much as i wasn't around in the sixties. Y'know what? i think I do get it. I enjoy these episodes as much as anyone. Right, ok, deep breaths...
So recently I've noticed McCoy's moments a lot more than I think I ever did before. I'm not sure why, but in my recent viewings, Deforest Kelley has really stood out for me. Maybe it's because I've become disillusioned with Shatner and his childish arguments with George Takei, (FFS you're both pensioner age, grow up!) but then there's the awesome character moments with Kirk and McCoy, Spock and McCoy and Kirk and Spock that are also standing out for me more than before.

I also wondered if it's part of this thing that people also say about Star Trek that it represents a hopeful future with a better world. So when I was younger I like the idea of a future where the silly conflicts of earth were resolved and we went out into space. Because, y'know, space! (Odd, I don't even like to fly...) As I grew, I appreciated the resolution of these conflicts more. Star Trek showed a society built on equality and tolerance, it was something that our current society should be aspiring to.

So maybe at this time in my life I'm appreciating the various relationships in my world and finding the core friendships of the 3 main characters in Star Trek to be something that resonates a little more with me than before.

It's an odd amateur psycho-analysis of myself that I've veered off into here!

I watched the new movie again this week. Still loving that. And I found that the core friendships between Kirk, Spock and McCoy, while not developed as they are in the series, are key points in the movie. They made tremendous efforts to lay the seeds and I think they've got a good handle on it. There's enough going on between the three of them that I can see it establishing. Hopefully the next film will give some time to showing us a more progressed friendship. I particularly want to see some Spock/McCoy exchanges. Those moments were unequalled, though DS9 had some marvellous Quark and Odo moments. But yeah, in the next film, I want some Spock McCoy arguments, and the climactic confrontation should be driven by Kirk finding a plan from the extremes of Spock's logic and McCoys emotion. Oh and some explosions! Loadsa explosions! I know there's a lot of talk about Khan, but isn't the point of the last film that they have a whole new direction to go play with? I know you could go many different ways with Khan, I've read some suggestions. But I still think Klingons, explosions and Kirk/Spock/McCoy relationship is the way to go! After all, and I shouldn't say this after the successful recasting that Star Trek demonstrated, but who could really play Khan like Ricardo Montalbahn??

Top Ten Nerdy Moments Part 2

For my final top five, I've thought long and hard. And on occaision had to have a little cry! Not really, it's only stuff that's embarassing to my future children. Bless them. Still, it's not as if there's a big list of my nerdy activities preserved for all time on the internet... oops!

Anyway, on with the list!

5) Making a Star Wars fan film. Sadly, never finished, but definitely involved in the making. Started many years ago, we had costumes and lightsabers and special effects courtesy of our director. See here for the website!

4)Been given a Sonic Screwdriver as a present and then used it in day to day tasks. When I started my current job, my girlfriend presented me with a toy Sonic Screwdriver as a good luck gift. I have since used it remarkably often for light and often as a pen, thanks to the ink nib end. It’s gotta be quite nerdy to be at horse racing and start filling in your betting slips with a sonic screwdriver quite casually.

3) My awesome mug. Everyone (by which I mean every nerd) decorates his workspace with a few awesome bits. I have a Millennium Falcon model and a Captain Picard figure upon my desk at work. But for many, many years, I have had a mug for my coffee. It’s a Star Trek mug. It has the next gen title logo and the Klingon symbol upon it. And it’s a ‘tumble-not’ mug. I believe that’s what they were called. I originally bought this when I was about 17-18 and it’s been with me ever since. I’ve taken it from job to job now, and it’s amused many co-workers. It’s lost the little pad from the bottom and there’s a chip out of it, but dammit I used this mug in sixth form! It’s an unusual shape as well, hence the ‘tumble-not’ sobriquet, as it widens outwards to the base from about halfway down. You can see these mugs on Deep Space Nine, when people have a coffee at the replimat. As far as I know, you can’t get these things anymore, at least not easily. So I rate this as worthy of my nerd top ten by virtue of its rarity, unusual shape that corresponds with in show props and the inordinate amount of pride I have in using this mug for more years than is hygienically advisable!

2)Appearing on TV for being involved in making a Star Wars fan film. Yep, an actual TV show, on Channel 5! They came out, interviewed the 3 if us involved. So I appeared on national TV, dressed as a Jedi, wielding a lightsaber. An interesting subplot to that tale, I’d just started dating a young lady about the airdate of that programme. In fact our first date was to be 2 days after it’s transmission. Except that they’d given us the wrong date. After I’d got everyone I knew and this lovely lady I wanted to date to watch. So that was not massively impressive. Fortunately it was shown the following week and the lady in question was clearly so impressed she’s marrying me next year. So if you’re ever unsure how to woo a girl, try getting on Channel 5 for making a sci-fi fan film! I’ve had 100% success rate with it!

1) Proposed on the entrance to the Torchwood Three Hub. Yep, in Cardiff, by the tower at the entrance to the Millennium Centre. Where the lift is. Where the TARDIS landed in Boom Town and Utopia. That was the spot where I asked my girlfriend to marry me. And she said yes! Which is quite unlikely, as when you read this list you’ll see it’s a frakkin miracle I’ve ever even kissed a girl!!

So, that's what I've done with my first 30 years. What can I do for the next 30? Well, I recieved an early birthday present from work this morning, a PC keyboard, with Klingon characters on the keys!! That's a good start...

Top Ten Nerd Moments in Life. Part 1

With my impending 30^th (5 more days and I’ll finally shut up about it!!!) I’ve found myself in a reflective mood. And as I look back over my 3 decades upon this earth, I find, un-surprisingly, I’ve racked up a few moments of serious nerdiness. I have nerded it up big time! So for this blog, I thought it might be fun to make a little top ten of my nerdiest moments ever. A few of these I did with friends, you’ll see the names Nathan, Nick and Will crop up more than once. Both of those guys would have some pretty awesome top tens of their own!

So for the top ten, I had to think pretty hard. I can list off a lot of nerdy things I do, but I needed ones that would be unusual. To nerds anyway, almost everything I do is unusual to a lot of people. So playing Dungeons and Dragons is nerdy maybe, but will not make the list by virtue of not being unusually nerdy enough. Being in Britain, people are a bit more reserved, so if many other people do do any of these things, they probably wouldn’t admit it. So I’m generally basing these on whether they’re out of the ordinary for people I know of. I wouldn’t claim them to be unique, just unusual. But each thing is certainly a treasured memory in my life as a nerd.

Here's the first half of the top ten.

I said it might be fun! No promises. In fact, any fun experienced is purely coincidental!

10) Meeting Christopher Lee! Not just meeting him, but queuing up a fire escape stairway with some really irritating girls to meet him. For hours! But this is a guy who was a movie legend before he played Count Dooku and Sauruman! And he has just as scary a voice in real life! Got a signed video copy of Attack of the Clones from it!

And as a side note, the irritating girls were stood behind me and Nick and Will. I’m not calling Nick and Will irritating girls!

9) Making stop motion animation films with Star Trek action figures. Yep, this would have been me about fourteen or fifteen, using the animation feature on the family camcorder. Initially starting with the kitchen worktop and a background from a weetabix box, (back when they did their Next Generation cards promotion) to culminating in my home made shuttlebay set and me and Nathan almost burning down the garage using fire to simulate phaser hits. And if my parents ever read this, that will clear up any remaining curiosity about that very odd Saturday afternoon. I hope my parents don’t read this, I think they’re better off thinking I’m a nerd without knowing the extent.

8) Going to see films in costume. Yeah, due to the Star Wars fan film (see later in the list) I’m involved with, there were three of us with Jedi robes. So we went to see Attack of the Clones dressed as Jedi. Got in the local paper and the Odeon were so impressed by us they gave us free T-Shirts and beer! We did the same for Revenge of the Sith, but to less fanfare and no free stuff. But go further back to the release of Star Trek First Contact, and the local cinema at the time were treated to me arriving in my Starfleet uniform! Early DS9/Voyager style in services gold. I wasn’t the only one doing so, there were three others in uniform too, and we all got in the local paper again! Yep, the local paper loves it’s nerds! Or loves going ‘hey, look at the nerds!!’.

Marvellous addendum to the Star Wars tale, a less nerdy friend was joining us for Revenge of the Sith. At work, he’d mentioned to his colleagues he was off to see it with some guys who were pretty into it. One of his colleagues held up the local paper which was re-running the picture of me, Nick and Will from Attack of the Clones, and said, ‘they’re probably not as into it as these freaks!’. To which my poor friend had to admit that those freaks were us!

7) Recorded audio clips of episodes of the Next Generation to try to create my own answer machine message with Captain Picard. Yep, hours spent with videos of Next Gen and a dictaphone to try and assemble a message from bits of dialogue, that I then played into the answer machine to use as an outgoing message. Oddly my parents didn’t want incoming calls to be greeted by Captain Picard’s voice advising them to contact Commander Riker instead. I know, but it’s really hard to find appropriate dialogue to use!

6)Learning Klingon. Yep, I got the Klingon dictionary, the Klingon language CD’s and even a copy of Hamlet in Klingon. I know there’s a lot of guys who try their hand at learning Klingon, but it’s still a really nerdy thing to do. It’s probably even nerdier if you succeed, but sadly linguistics is not a strong area for me. I can remember how to say, ‘yes’, ‘what do you want?’ ‘stop!’ and ‘where is the bathroom?’ but that’s about as much as I can remember. Though even when I was working on it, I couldn’t remember much more, though I could count to ten.

There we have it, the first 5 of my top ten. Yeah, I look pretty cool now! Well obviously I don't. Some things that didn't make the top ten though...

Nightmares about the Borg and/or Daleks. Pretty nerdy to dream about these things for sure, but I rejected them from the list on the basis that they're involuntary. I couldn't choose whether or not to dream about these things. Had my parents dressed me up in Star Trek uniform onesies when I was a baby, I wouldn't count that as it wasn't my choice.

Creating a Star Trek Desktop theme for my Dad's laptop. It very nearly made it in. You can find Trek-based desktop themes all over the place these day, but this one was all drawn and made from scratch with no internet access! Hell, it was in the early nineties, the internet was not widespread. In fact I only got net access in 1997 I think.

I shall post the top 5 in the next couple of day. Yep, they get worse...

Nothing of note

That is one of the worst titles I've ever used. That's not drawing people in! What school of Marketing is that from? Maybe if it was some sort of ironic in-joke that regular readers would be familiar with, then it'd be ok, but, and I haven't checked this mind, I'm assuming I'm not exactly writing for an audience of thousands here!

However, it is kinda accurate. Nothing particularly of note has occured that's compelled me to write in depth about it of late. But that's not necessarily anything new, a quick examination of the dates of my posts shows their sporadic nature. I can go weeks without feeling compelled to write. This is something I'm trying to focus on, I'd like to make sure I write something on a more frequent basis, just to make sure I'm writing. It's too easy to let these things slide, it's happened to me with drawing. While I'm not really doing this to accumulate legions of readers, (though I do appreciate anyone who does stop by to see my ramblings, and hope it's at least of some moderate entertainment) I would like to get a regular habit of actually writing something.

So what nerdy things of interest have occured? Well, last week I noticed this news piece
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8302286.stm
I firstly thought it was brilliant that Microsoft announced they were readying a security update to cover vulnerable areas, then mentioned the vulnerable areas! A day before the update! Hey you have 1 day to go exploit these areas! Just seemed pretty irresponsible to me.

So said update goes out on Tuesday. Wednesday, I receive a call from my future in-laws. Their e-mail is playing up. I go round and find that when they run a send/receive, the mail servers cannot be found. I check everything I can think of, we discover that oddly the e-mail is retrieved perfectly from another laptop running XP and from an iPhone. Neither of which had at that point recieved any security update, though it's assumed the main Vista computer had. The problem had not started until late tuesday.

Finally, I hit upon the idea of downloading Thunderbird and seeing if that would recognise the servers. It did. So it was purely a Windows Mail program issue. I cured the problem by updating to the latest version of Windows Mail. While I have no technical proof, it does seem logical that the security update broke Windows Mail! It seems to be a one off incident, I've seen nothing else about it, and another Vista machine with the same version of Windows Mail has no issues with the same mail servers. Still weird though.

Then over the weekend, I heard my Father express his surprise at how impressed he was when he tried Open Office. Brilliant! More people should be trying Open Office and realising how free software can still be great software. Soon they'll all be running Linux, heh heh heh.

I don't know why I added a dirty laugh to that, unless I'm planning to customise my ubuntu version to pornbuntu or something. Which I'm not. However I did pick up a Linux magazine this week too. This is a rare event as they're really damn expensive! Which I thought to be somewhat ironic as it focussed on largely free software. However, it finally hit me, they probably can't sell much advertising space! Why advertise in a magazine largely aimed at people shunning big corporations?

Finally (yes, finally, for a blog where I start by saying I have nothing to write about, I've blithered on for a while now. It's like urinating in a crowded pub toilet. It's really difficult to get started, but once you do, you just go on and on. Probably because you've involuntarily held in the last 8 beers. That's probably just me, and I've probably revealed too much...) my lovely fiancee and I have begun watching The Big Bang Theory. It's a show I've been aware of but only just recently properly watched any episodes. That and Wil Wheaton's recent discovery of it, which quickly led to a guest spot (that probably won't happen to me though) got me keen to see the whole thing. Season 1 arrived yesterday and I've watched one episode, in our breakfast comedy time before work. It's equal parts hilarious and scary as it holds up a mirror to my own character. Like when someone expresses excitment to watch Battlestar Galactica Season 2 again, 'with the commentaries!'.

Yep, it's a miracle I've even kissed a girl, let alone got one to marry me!!

Unforseen problems

I've recently toured the county telling managers of Early Years establishments that I shall be providing them with Broadband dongles so they will be able to get on line. These aren't compulsory, but a lot of these guys cannot access normal broadband facilities so we're rolling out mobile broadband to make sure everyones at least got something. So I have several sessions planned to hand out these dongles and get everyone set up. Yesterday was my first one.

So it turns out that when you have several broadband dongles all trying to access the network at the same time all close to each other, they basically steal each others signal. We could only get 3 or 4 on at a time.

The words 'absolute disaster' were ringing through my head here. I had a whole session planned out where we'd set all the dongles up, show them how to set up free e-mail addresses and walk them through online data submission. And only 3 of them can get enough signal. And that keeps dropping out.

I'd previously toured the training venues with a dongle to ensure signal in those areas. So it's not a lack of signal there, it's just the fact you don't seem to be able to get several on at once. And to be honest, how often will you have 10 or more people in one room all logging onto the same mobile network?

It was a disheartening start to this phase of the project, which has gone so well before. I should have predicted this problem really. It seems so very obvious after it happens, but it never occured to me. I felt particularly bad when I saw two nursery managers at the back of the room waving their dongles in mid air in a vain attempt to re-capture their signal.

So it's back to the drawing board, as I have to re-write the training session to reflect the fact that I cannot use the dongles, effectively turning it from a practical session to a theory. Which is never as entertaining. I try my best, but all my broadband/internet/windows jokes seem to be falling flat.

I feel that maybe my reputation at work as the IT guy has been built up too much when something goes wrong like this. Especially something that seems so obvious that I should have spotted it. But the important thing is to look objectively at the experience and see what I can learn from it. And I have learnt that mobile broadband, while a wonderful thing is not yet enjoying strong enough network coverage to be that reliable, and that Skegness is a frakking difficult place to find your way around. I got lost and barely made it to the session on time.

Is his girlfriend Megatron?

It was a work colleagues birthday last monday. Much merriment ensues, as he's 30 exactly 4 weeks before I am, (makes me feel young!) and the obligatory office whip round and present selection. I was tasked with finding some present choices. (Not in my job description, but he's a nerd, so they have the idea that I would have the best ideas!?) Now this colleagues something of a Transformers nut. Like, crazy obsessive about the robots in disguise. I like transformers as much as the next dude, who is a nerd and was a child of the 80's, which to be honest is a hell of a lot, but this guy makes me look reserved and normal. About Transformers anyway.

So I found an Optimus Prime alarm clock. It's in the shape of Prime's head, wakes you up with 3 phrases of his and project the autobot symbol onto the ceiling. Brilliant!! Sadly it's the new movie version, it's getting harder and harder to find proper Generation 1 stuff. But hey, he's not prejudiced, he likes all of it. So the alarm clock was duly purchased along with a movie Prime bubble bath. Awesomeamundo!

Naturally, like all right thinking humans, he took the actual day of his birthday off. I mean, it was a fracking Monday!!

So yesterday, upon his return, he got his presents. He plugged the alarm clock in at his desk to check it out, and it was as fabulous as the description suggests. So with some glee this morning, I asked him how his girlfriend liked being woken up by Prime?

Apparently she hadn't let him plug it in!!

Oddly, he also stated that he didn't have the right battery available to him to use. Which struck me as even odder than someone not wanting this alarm clock to wake them up. So he's fine to use the alarm clock by batteries, but plugging it into the mains is a no-no? I don't wish to delve too deeply into the domestic arrangements of others, but is this usual? That one partner will claim sole authority over the electric supply and what devices may make use of it? Sounds overly complex to me. I think she was probably relying on him being too lazy to go out and buy a battery.

If he's still not got it working tomorrow, I will go and buy him the appropriate battery! It's what nerds do!

As an aside, he'd also got the most amazing new socks! They're Star Trek socks! A pack has three pairs, red, gold and blue! With the TOS logo on them!! I am getting some!! My fiancée has insisted I don't wear the red pair if I'm doing anything even slightly dangerous! I love her even more for knowing to say it!

It was like meeting my hero! The other night, when I met one of my heroes!

Waaaay, way way back in my teenage years, (also known as 'the 90's', I was a big fan of the comedy duo Lee and Herring. I found Fist of Fun on BBC2, along with their radio show, then the follow up TV show This Morning with Richard Not Judy. And this was the funniest stuff I'd ever seen. Then and for a lot of it, it's still the best stuff. There's certain comedy that has made me laugh really really hard. Some Monty Python. The first episode I watched of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Father Ted. Other stuff is funny, but those were the things that have really hit me, really made me laugh and will always have a spot in my heart.

Those and Lee and Herring. I can get a bit nerdy about it (well duh! Look at the blog name!) but I remember the Anthony Hopkins letters, with the masturbatory PS, the Girl who smelt of Spam, the curious orange, the Lord of the Dance Settee and so many more bits. This was my mid to late teens I think. So recently I was quite excited to discover that, through the magic of the internet, I was able to catch up with what Richard Herring has been up to! Hurrah! Turns out he's still a comedian, but for reasons that I cannot quite fathom, he's not got a TV show. Seriously, why not? He's been on the radio a bit, notably reviewing the weeks newspapers with Andrew Collins on 6 music for a while a few years back. But even that was taken away by the BBC, a organisation that I will normally defend vociferously, but in this instance I feel that they've dropped the ball.

Anyway, long story short, Herring and Andrew Collins continued to review the papers each week on a free podcast. http://www.comedy.org.uk/podcasts/collingsherrin/ They also both write blogs, Herrings goes out daily, at http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup/ and Collins is a frequent blogger at http://www.wherediditallgoright.com/BLOG/index.html. Marvellously, I've found a new source of comedy gold in the podcasts and the blogs. Then they came to Lincoln!! Yep, actually to my home town! To record a podcast! They very occaisionally do a live recording and the Lincoln comedy festival was privy to this wonder!! I booked tickets so hard the box office felt violated. So last friday was the eventful day. I took my sceptical fiancee along, promising her this was going to be so funny! She didn't look convinced. It began with Andrew Collins solo bit, where he taught us all 'Secret Dancing'. Which is brilliant. I have literally been doing it since, whenever I hear music. You see me and hear music, just watch me, there'll be hardly any sign of dancing!

Then Richard Herring appears for his stand up session. Though it was previously used material, (a lot of it is familier from reading through his blogs) it didn't matter. Like the best comedians, he can be telling pretty much any story and it'll be funny. That's not to say that his material isn't also brilliant! I won't go too much into detail, in case you get the chance to see him yourselves at another point when he's re-using material, but I certainly loved his very well observed points about the Pink Panther re-make.

Finally, the podcast. As funny as ever, but with more of an atomosphere than I normally get listening to it in the car on my way to/from work. And educational, I learnt things about my town. Like why lincolshire folk call themselves 'yellowbellies'. Not being entirely native, I've never bought into this oddity, but these guys, visiting for one night, had made more effort to research and understand the name than I ever did. There's actually a number of reasons, and most of them are stupid. There was also the great news he's coming back to Lincoln next year with his Hitler Moustache show!

After the brilliant podcast, I had the chance to meet the guys! I got a signed DVD and a picture below! Also a couple of weeks back, I'd e-mailed Richard Herring asking if he would like to stay at my house after the podcast. I also happened to be off to London the following day, so they could have a lift back there if they'd like. He sent me a very polit e-mail thanking me for the offer but they'd already arranged accomodation. He did add he wouldn't want to stay in the house of someone who enjoyed his sick podcast! I found it very exciting. He also responded really quickly, clearly I caught him on a dull day. I did tell him the offer was still open, he said it would probably be inappropriate. Not really sure why, I said surely it's more creepy and weird for a stranger to offer him a room. To share. With Andrew Collins. But I got another 'Pointing at a celebrity beard' picture!

Also, if you go to Andrew Collins blog, in the first audience picture he shows in his blog about the show in Lincoln, you can just make me and my fiancee out! I note that two busy showbiz types were both able to get their blog out regarding that night, long before I could! I ask you, who is the real sick man? Is it me, trying to coax male celebrities into my house, to share a bed, hoping it will turn homo-erotic? Or is it the comedians, who had time to blog on saturday?

Beer beer beer beer, beer beer beer beer

I had the good fortune to be invited along to a pub crawl last weekend. Though I was informed it wasn't a pub crawl in the normal sense, with it's negative connotations, but some refined gentlemen tried the beers in several pubs across Lincoln.

Apparently this little group of real ale enthusiasts do this on a regular basis, every couple of months one of their number is responsible for organising a trip to a town basically go around trying some quality beers.

Sounds like an excellent idea to me!

So this trip was down to my old school chum Eddie and he asked me a while back if I'd like to join them. Me like beer, so I was totally up for this. For some reason I'd envisioned a younger group and a later session, so the fact that it was an afternoon thing and they were getting trains back about half 6 in the evening caught me by surprise a little, so sadly I didn't get out to them till about 4. And there I found some guys in their own group T-shirts! They have their own logo! This I liked, not only was this a group of guys who were clearly passionate about their ale, but they were passionate enough to have an official club with a name, logo and t-shirt! My feeling is that real ale enthusiasts are basically nerds who love beer.

What was even better was what a welcoming group it was. You know what it's like when a friend asks you to join his other friends who you've never met for some drinks, you can feel like an outsider a little bit. Even more so if the other guys have a little group thing going on. Not the Pint and Puffin group, they were all friendly and welcoming as soon as I arrived. (This may have something to do with the fact they'd been at the ale for a good few hours by then. Though if this were true, I had none of the normal isolated feeling of a sober man among inebriated folk either.)

And I found them to be a lovely and interesting bunch. They were all, as I'd said, clearly very passionate about their ale, which is something I can relate to, but they all had their interesting tales too. I was treated to tales about table tennis, banks IT and the origins of the group and their name amongst other conversations, a lot of which revolved around computers as well.

By the end of the afternoon, I was heading on home, having tried some excellent beers and had a thoroughly enjoyable few hours. Plus, there'd been numerous mentions of getting me onto future trips, which just goes to show that either I'd made a good impression, or they were all really really drunk.

Being a computery nerd means I'm greatly in demand at work when items of an IT nature cause havoc. So much so that my entire job role has been changed to reflect the fact that without me this would just be an office of lady teachers yelling at apparently useless plastic objects. (I'm pushing for it to be phrased that way in the job description, but so far no luck.) So my efforts at rescuing people from difficulties with PC's is now how I earn my living! Wow, Superman had to take a seperate job! Yes, I boldly compare myself to Superman. He rescues people from crime, disasters and alien invasions. I rescue them from IT problems. Superman operates with a secret persona, taking no reward for his efforts and working a mundane job under a mundane disguise! The idiot! He should just get paid for being Superman and then live an exciting life all the time! I have combined my superheroing with the mundane job!
Anyway, I digress, not that I really have a point to this post, I'm just ruminating on some of my technical tasks today. I had to put up an interactive whiteboard. These things are immensely cool, because you can electrnically draw on them, and control the mouse by touching the board! It's like a giant touchscreen PC! That you can't really stand in front of because you block the projected picture. So it's really something that the novelty wears off from after you can't see what your touching for the 8th time you've blocked it with your own shadow. Plus they're a bitch to keep calibrated, so your cursor always ends up 3 feet to the left of your finger.
My most frustrating task has been a laptop returned to us by a closed nursery. They'd not made a lot of use of it, as they'd not peeled off the protective film you get over the screen and parts of the computer. Though they'd used it once at least. And not turned it off. And closed the laptop up. So that it got very hot. And the plastic film melted, trashing the screen and then melting through the buttons, into the motherboard and solidfying around and over that. Waste of a decent spec laptop sadly. There were attempts to save it, by carefully melting the residue off the screen and power button, but eventually had to concede the machine was a lost cause.
My favourtie one today has been the blackberry that's refusing data connections. I fixed that one by taking the battery out, putting it back and turning the machine back on! Classic IT.
Finally I'm testing one of the broadband dongles. It's marvellously simple to use, if a tad on the slow side, but it's currently only picking up a GPRS connection. I'll be interested to see it perform with a 3G signal. I wonder if I can get one to work in Linux?

Rick's Adventures in Linux - 1. The Beginning!

I spoke once before about how much I enjoyed my initial foray into the Linux world. Well, I’m still largely enojoying it! Hurrah! I’m keen for any future netbook I may own to have Linux on it too and would happily work in an all Linux world, but sadly my employers will not be convinced of the beauty of being run with Ubuntu. Even if you point out the inherent savings on software. Though given the amount of time I spend instructing computer novice ladies at my work how to use various things, I think the appearance of a different OS would cause mass panic. Or complete obliviousness. But probably panic.

Anyhow, I’ve found in my Linux journey that there’s a fantastic community of users out there who are sharing out their expertise to help newcomers like myself with any issues and difficulties they encounter. While my knowledge and experience is paltry compared to these guys, I feel it would be remiss of me if I failed to at least attempt to offer some assistance to those who brave the world of open source OS’s for the first time. So I shall tell the tale of my Linux journey, it’s successes and failures and links to the places that helped me out. I can only hope that at some point a new user with the same monitor as me, or a similar motherboard, or any generic problem I had, stumbles upon this and it helps them. Or that it is in some way an entertaining or interesting read. Hm, that last one might be a vain hope...

Chapter 1: The Linux Decision

As I’d stated in a previous blog, I was finding that life with Windows was becoming dull. I was missing the days of playing around with settings to make stuff work. I’d just built my new PC from components and was feeling technical. Then I read Stephen Fry’s blog about his new Asus EEE with Linux on it. He sounds pretty please and enthusiastic about this Linux business. So I wondered whether it might be worth giving it a try. So I did a little research. To sum up the pertinent points of Linux. That I discovered.

There’s no such actual system as ‘Linux’. Instead Linux comes in various forms, known as Distros. These Distros are all based on the core Linux basis, known as the ‘Kernel’, (sadly not the one with the fried chicken). From there they vary in many different ways, looking and feeling different and coming with different bundles of software.

The linux kernel and a lot of software for linux is open-source. Meaning, anyone can look at it and improve it and or use it for their own needs and styles. Hence how come the different distros, as people have come up with versions tailored to specific areas. For a better explanation of Open-Source and free software, go here.

One of the most popular distros currently, is Ubuntu. It’s considered to be friendly to newcomers and generally all round brilliant. Even this comes in different versions, as you can get Kubuntu, which is Ubuntu with a fancier desktop. Plus apparently Ubuntu gets a new version release every six months.

While you can’t run the same programs under Linux distros as you can with Windows, some highly regarded alternatives have been created. There’s Gimp in place of Photoshop and Open Office in place of Microsoft Office. There’s a plethora of music players, video players, media editors and programs for the ipod. I’m not much of a gamer on the PC, that’s what my playstation is for, but I was pretty happy to see Oolite, an open source version of a game that I loved in my youth along with Freeciv and some others. Web browsing, e-mail and IM’ing is all covered too. Ok, so if I was to change to a Linux system, I should still be able to do things I was able to do before.

You can dual boot. This basically means you can install a Linux distro onto a machine with Windows and then choose which system you want to use each time you turn the machine on. Ok, sounds useful, that way I can ensure a smooth transition over with Windows there for anything I can’t get working straight away.

These were the main points I needed to make my decision with. Obviously the dual boot thing was particularly important as it meant I still had Windows to fall back on. So I decided I’d begin with Ubuntu.

Next time: Ubuntu – The Installation

See Logan Run! Run Logan Run!

Slightly later than expected, my review of Logan’s Run.
Well, not a review, so much as just my general enthusiastic observations. Review was a stupid word to use, because I don’t like ‘reviews’ generally and also, it’s a film that’s over 30 years old, who reviews those?
Anyhow, it’s a sci’fi classic that I hadn’t watched before, so it qualified for my nerd days.

And it’s pretty awesome. I think everyone’s aware of the general plot, it’s a future utopia but people only live to age 30. Those who want to go on living have to go on the run and end up killed. Sounds simple. So it’s a warning of the price of paradise kind of thing?

So my first observation is that the utopia 200+ years from now, 70’s hairstyles are back! Actually, you can say of any film that portrays the future that they assume the hairstyles of the present day are back in by then. But then let’s observe the fashions. Wow! Those are some pretty crazy clothes.
So Logan’s a ‘Sandman’? This appears to mean he get’s better outfits than most! Must be reasonably warm in this bio-dome as a lot of these costumes look pretty flimsy.

So quite quickly we pick up that the population is kept in some kind of optimum balance, new children are ‘grown’ rather than the normal conception, birth and raising, and when necessary to replace those who’ve reached thirty and gone to ‘renew’. Renewing seems to imply some kind of afterlife, or possibly rebirth in the new babies? And if you run, you won’t get to renew. Oh, and renewal seems to be a big show. We actually get to see it, it’s Cirque du Soliel! Man, all those fancy acrobatics people are so amazed by, turns out those ‘acrobats’ are renewing! No, wait, they’re exploding! Awesome! People flying up to the ceiling and exploding is now added to the list of awesome things to happen in films!

I hope there’s a skidding tank soon!

Logan is called away from the spectacle of exploding aerialists to chase down a ‘runner’. This runner has watched exploding acrobatics and come to the conclusion that it’s not for him and he’s legging it to try and live to 31.

Hurrah, Logan’s been to Stormtrooper weapons training! He’s an awful shot! Even at close range he can’t hit the guy! Eventually Logan’s mate shoots the runner, who for extra effect stumbles over a railing to plummet several floors. The two Sandmen check the body and Logan robs him! Sees an Ankh shape necklace and just nicks it! (sadly it’s not a skidding ankh!)

Now follows two of the greatest acheivements in this futuristic utopia.

The first one is Logan’s nightwear. He’s relaxing in his Sandman pad and he has the most amazing dressing gown on! It’s brilliant! It’s futuristic and so marvellously camp! Though I think Michael York wears it that way. So bored of an evening, Logan uses some high tech gizmo in the corner to beam himself a sex buddy into his flat! Yep, he flicks through a variety of people, with a comedy refusal of the muscular man, but then with that dressing gown, are you surprised he tried? Finally he settles on Jenny Agutter (known as Jessica) who materialises in his living room!

Yep, people get horny, they just put themselves into this system, known as 'The Circuit' (i.e. 'The Game'?) so anyone who takes a shine to them can beam them into their flat! It’s like a weird sex based facebook with a transporter.

A little small talk and then Logan pretty much shouts at the poor girl, ‘ALRIGHT, LET’S HAVE SEX!!’

Strangely, she doesn’t want to. They have a long chat about their respective status in society, Logan still trying to figure out how his shouting chat up line could have failed until Logan’s mate returns with 2 far more willing young ladies. So Logan gives up on his lost cause and starts trying it on with the girl his very thoughtful friend picked up for him. Meanwhile, Jessica leaves, and have we all noticed, she’s also wearing an Ankh necklace? We should, it’s probably going to be important later!

Logan later reports to Sandman HQ, where he must turn out his pockets to be scanned by computer. The computer goes a bit funny when it picks up the Ankh he swiped from the runner earlier. Excellent, Logan’s computer boss is going to chew him out about robbing from corpses! Comeuppance time for you Logan, you theiving ghoul!

Nope, it the computer gives him a secret mission! He’s to infiltrate the runners support network and find the place known as ‘sanctuary’ so the Sandmen can eliminate it. Clearly the governing computers are sick of people avoiding their high wire exploding. To help Logan infiltrate the group, the computer system winds his life timer forward to start flashing, the sign of hitting thirty. Logan’s ready to leave and begin his mission, but wants to check his timer will be wound back again afterwards. The computer stays quiet about this. I half expected it to start whistling innocently, or la la laaing to drown out the question. See Logan, this is what comes of stealing! Good moral lesson here!

So Logan begins his investigation and ivites Jessica back to his flat. Nope, he’s not trying for the sex again, he seems to have made the link between the ankh he found and the city’s computer told him was a symbol of sancturary and the exact same massive ankh that she wears quite prominantly in plain view! Helluva detective.

She agrees to set up a meeting with Logan and the people who help runners, with the intention of having them kill him. Then she changes her mind, and she accompanies him tracking down a runner.

Now it appears there’s a section of the city that’s completely blocked off to everyone else, where they keep the wild, feral children. Though it seems to be indicated that when the kids hit mid teens, they’re forced back into normal society. Not sure how they function then... Anyway, Logan catches his runner, a woman who claims that her life timer’s broken and she’s only 22. Yeah, you’re fooling no-one there. But Logan lets her go to prove how he’s changed to Jessica and they set off. But Logan’s sandman mate Francis comes along and shoots her anyway. Actually, I wonder if Logan really wanted to let her go, or just didn’t want to show Jessica what a bad shot he is?

So with Francis in pursuit, the pair try to get to Sanctuary. Sadly, Logan, thinking they’re in, summons his other Sandman colleagues and most of the runner-aiding resistance gets toasted. Logan and Jenny carry on with Francis still in pursuit.

They get out of the city and find their way into some ice caves where after Jessica strips nekkid and wraps herself in fur, they meet Box.

Oh my goodness! Box. There’s not much I can say about Box, the mad robot who’s freezing humans and is just generally mad. He is absolutely amazing. If there was one reason only to watch this film, (though there are several) it would be Box. You just have to see him.

The pair then wander on through peaceful countryside, realising their lifetimers have turned white away from the influence of the city. There we have it, the representation of freedom regained by turning away from the seeming idyllic life!

The discover some familier landmarks representing the giant president of old and finally come across andother person! Hurrah! And it’s the oldest man they’ve ever seen!

Peter Ustinov’s turn as the old man is funny, sad and heart warming. You do feel teribly sorry for this man who’s lived alone for so much of his life, only a bunch of cats for company. But he’s managed quite well and has some brilliant moments as he tries to explain his life to his visitors.

After a fight to dispatch Francis, they take the old man back towards the city. Then they leave him outside while they go in to tell everyone about an outside world where you can get old. Of course they’re promptly arrested. However, the computer systems try to probe Logans mind and end up blowing up! Not sure what that says about Logan. Naturally this explosion engulfs most of the city’s systems so the populace are forced to evacuate and this is when they emerge into the world to meet a scruffy old bearded man.

Brilliant! This movie is so much fun! You can have fun with the silliness of it, some of which I think is intentional and fun with the crazy sci-fi action. There’s a number of interesting themes and ideas, though most of them don’t get explored that much. But then it’d make for a longer film. I’m left with a number of questions about the society in the dome, many of which about the raising of children. I’m re-watching this with my fiancee soon and it should be interesting to hear her take on the society. And Box the robot!

Twitter

An extra special bonus blog up today! 2 Blogs in a day! Imagine! Or, actually, don’t, just read it, imagination not required for that. Being a nerd, I like computers, and the internet, and some stuff on the internet, I really enjoy. Twitter is one of those things. It allows for brief updates on what my friends are doing and I’m also able to keep tabs on what’s happening with various people whose work I enjoy, mainly comedy types and writers. I find it both useful and entertaining. And last week, I hugely enjoyed what happened. Briefly, Graham Linehan, the writer behind the IT Crowd and Father Ted had read about an article from America that criticsed the UK National Health Service. It’s most outrageous claim was that if Stephen Hawking lived in the UK, he’d be dead now!

He does live in the UK and he’s not dead.

Now, we in the UK all know that the NHS is not perfect. I would argue that it does the best it can with the resources it has and if we want a better health service then the priorities of government money is the place to start, but that’s a digression and a whole other set of arguments. The real point is that in this country, we have a system where there is healthcare available to anyone who needs it. So we then see it criticised by people who want their country to maintain a system where healthcare is available to anyone who can afford it.

So Mr Linehan gets onto Twitter and organises a new trending topic, #welovethenhs. With only minimal encouragement, soon people are tweeting their experiences with the NHS and within an hour, it’s the top topic. The number one thing on twitter that everyone was talking about was their positive experiences with the NHS. I tweeted a reference to an operation I’d had. Other people tweeted that they or someone close to them owed their continued existence to the care of the NHS. People tweeted a mix of interesting, amusing and touching stories of how this country’s free Healthcare had benefited them. It was actually an amazing thing to behold. From one outrageous article, suddenly thousands of people were standing up to defend the NHS, and organization that in the general media in the UK, we only ever hear criticised. But then, when someone goes in for a routing operation, experiences good care and attention and then leaves, it’s not an exciting story in the tabloids. But when thousands of people all at once stand up and tell their story, it’s almost overwhelming. You suddenly realise how fortunate we are to have this free healthcare service, and how much they actually get right, while we only normally hear what they get wrong. It was also so much better than a long string of sniping about the article itself. A much nicer approach than hundreds of people saying ‘Hawking lives in the UK, this was written by idiots!’ over and over, people actually all united to tell really positive tales and show their appreciation. I hope that everyone working for the NHS got to see it.

I’d recently become deeply frustrated with the way a mob mentality would develop over issues in the news, as people seemed more and more willing to shape their opinions based on what the tabloid papers would say, rather than using their brains and thinking about things or checking for accurate information. Last week showed me that mass communication can be used in a marvelous way. Rather than everyone subscribing to one viewpoint decided in the media, people came forward with their own stories. It’s a shame we can’t do this for more things. There are a huge amount of other agencies working very hard to help improve the quality of life for a lot of people in this country, but are massively underappreciated and often vilified for it. Maybe if every child who was saved from abusive parents or carers tweeted appreciation, or victims of crime who had their property recovered by the police all told their story at once? It’s not an easy thing to organise. Graham Linehan already had many, many followers and was able to demonstrate an unfair criticism to spur people into action, which then snowballed. But when it did happen, it was something that made me feel a little better about humanity as a whole.

Shame that for some, it’s a prompt to have a go at something they don’t use or understand. http://bit.ly/i2thA But, considering everything I’ve said, all in all, it seems nicer to be a twat than to call people one.

The Day the Nerd Sat Still...and watched some movies.

Last week I had the pleasure of a couple of days off work before the weekend and planned a massive three day event of being a total nerd!

Obviously I am a nerd 24/7, but for these three days I was going to revel in it! I gathered up some classics in the Sci-fi movie genre that I hadn’t seen before to watch for the Thursday and Friday, with Saturday being given over to a long session of Dungeons and Dragons.

So, to the first of these classics of the sci-fi movie genre.

The Day the Earth Stood Still.

It’s been a massive oversight for me not to have watched this film before! It’s absolutely incredible!

Obviously I’m talking about the orginal Robert Wise version, not the recent re-make with Keanu Reeves in it.

So the first thing I notice is hey, that spaceship actually looks pretty ok as it flies in! It’s not wobbling or anything! It’s in black and white, I don’t know if that helps, but it’s looked pretty realistic on film I thought, which impressed me as I’d expected something on string wobbling its way across the screen. That’ll teach me not to make assumptions.

The first thing I’m realising about this story, is the human reaction to this alien visitor. As newsreaders urge the public not to panic, stating that the government has said there’s no cause for alarm, the same government has amassed a serious little armed force up around the spaceship! Do they mean there’s no cause to panic as they’re going to blow up anything that comes out of the ship? I especially enjoyed the tanks as they were deployed from their base, they come screaming out onto the road and actually skid as they turn! It looks awesome, and ‘tanks doing skids’ is now on my list of Awesome things in movies’, like spaceships and people throwing themselves across a corridor while firing two guns.

However, I’m a tad disturbed that there’s such an overt military response to this ship’s landing. It’s not very friendly is it? We’ve got no indication that this ship is hostile, though if it was coming to invade, isn’t it more likely there’d be hundreds and they’d be blasting the crap out of us instead of landing on a baseball field?

So the ship opens up. I was watching this with my friend Nick, who pointed out that this alien race clearly prefer complex, slow and elaborate door openings! We enjoyed the idea he’d come to Earth to discover the secret of our quick and easy door openings and needed to go to B&Q for some hinges and a handle!

Then they shot him! The alien, not Nick. He produced some kind of egg whisk and he was shot! Obviously the military is in the pocket of America’s restauranteurs , and were under orders to open fire if any sign of culinary prowess was displayed!

It’s ok, it wasn’t a fatal shot. And a large robot has now appeared from the ship! (That’s another tick on the list of ‘Awesome things in Movies’ along with the Spaceship and the Skidding Tanks)

So the robot reveals his eys, (He’s a prototype Cylon!) and then shoots out a laser and disarms all the soldiers. I particularly liked that he would shoot 3 guns in turn, but the later ones would heat up quicker so that they could all be dropped in unison.

The alien, Klaatu, reveals that his egg whisk was in fact a gift for the president so he could communicate with other worlds, but now it’s broken. Whoops! Given the initial attempt at contact with an alien, it’s probably best for these other worlds...

So they take Klaatu to hospital. They’re assuming that earth doctors will be able to quickly work out an alien anatomy? Not sure, at this point they haven’t worked out smoking is bad for them! I do enjoy older movies where everyone’s always smoking. Not like nowadays where only evil characters light up. Anyway, he’s taken to hospital where apparently he’s similar enough they can treat him. Then it’s revealed he’s in his 70’s but due to advanced healthcare appears 30 and his bullet wound is almost healed already.

Then Klaatu is approached by the government. He explains that he needs to address all the world leaders. However this is impossible, they could never agree on a neutral venue and he’s treated to a demonstration of how humanity would much rather argue and fight than listen to the message of an alien visitor. I’m getting a little depressed here as I’m cynical enough to believe this is pretty much the reaction a peacful alien would recieve here. I.e. he get’s shot and no one listens to him.

Fortunately, Klaatu is a little more determined. He escapes from the hospital and goes on the run. He finds a guest house of some sort and rents a room. I note that no references or deposit are required. Ah, simpler times!

So now Klaatu is hanging out with some humans, trying to learn about humanity more direcltly. Another resident of the house wants to go out for the day with her new boyfriend but has no-one to look after her young son. No problem, the stranger who arrived last night and speaks slightly strangely will take him out for the day! Really, simpler times!

So on his day out, Klaatu hears about war, Abraham Lincoln and the smartest man on the planet, a local professor. He visits the professor, to find he’s out, so helpfully solves a complex equation for him. Shortly some government agents come to the guest house and take Klaatu back to the professor.

Professors got some serious influence then?

Klaatu’s new plan is to tell as many scientists as he can the message intended for world leaders. They decide a demonstration is needed too, so Klaatu promises to arrange one.

He visits his ship and signals to Gort, the large robot. Gort attacks some guards and Klaatu can get in his ship. But oh no, the little kid has followed him and witnessed everything!

The next day Klaatu visits the childs mother to find out what the kid says. Then in a bizarre display, he get’s in a lift with her and is amazed when it stops. He asks what time it is and then announces they’re stuck there. Well, this is because he’d arranged for the whole worlds electricity to cease at this time. So he’s capable of that immense feat, but didn’t realise it was nearly half twelve when he got in the lift? Ah well.

It is a pretty awesome sequence with the worlds power out, even the shots of other countries and the dodgy cockney accent. But the whole world bought to a standstill. Quite amazing.

Eventually the power comes back on and Klaatu has now convinced his companion that he’s a good alien. But the military have decided that taking Klaatu alive is a luxury they can no longer afford.

Klaatu is chased, and eventually gunned down. This leaves his female companion to run off to Gort to deliver a message to him that Klaatu had told her previously. Gort has now started wiping out soldiers with his laser eye beams (that’s another tick on the list) but stops when he hears ‘Klaatu Barada Nikto’. Cut to a local jail, where one of the military guys is on the phone, telling someone that Klaatu is definitley dead, so they’ve locked him in a cell. That’s pretty harsh, if he’s dead. Fortunate though, as Gort can smash the wall of the cell and retrieve the body. Returning to the ship, Gort places Klaatu in a machine I like to call the ‘Resurrectotron’ and brings him back to life.

Now a little bit pissed off, Klaatu addresses the scientists and warns them that Earth is too violent. That’s fine when restricted to Earth, but attempts to get into space are worrying the other races. He explains that the spacefaring races of the galazy have created a race of machines like Gort to police all cultures, destroying those who try to commit violence against others. The robots are answerable to no-one but their programming now and if Earth get’s into space, we must renounce our violent ways or Gort’s people will kick our asses.

Wait, so everyone’s living in fear of these killer robots if they don’t behave? The enlightened alien culture lives under a self imposed tyranny?

Maybe we’re reading too much into that description.

So those were the key points of a movie, that frankly, blew me away. I loved it. The overall message is probably more relevant today as it tells us as a people we should be united, not blowing ourselves up. Obviously there are some parts that show what a different time it was, like easily trusting a strange man with your young son, but things like that are part of the amusing charm of older films. I have a certain curiosity about the re-make, but I’d be surprised if it was a patch on this.

Following this, I watched Logan’s Run. Well, I popped out for beers first, then I watched Logan’s Run. I shall be gathering my thoughts on that in a future blog.