Of course once the trailer is release, the internet is
filled with people analysing it frame by frame, picking out each word and shot
and speculating what it could mean. Myself, I like to be surprised, so I’m not
overthinking this one. I’m just going to sit back and be pleasantly excited
about a film I will most likely enjoy.
But this film… ok there’s a lot of rumour and speculation.
And actually it’s kinda fun to read how people can take the same moment and
declare it 100% without a doubt confirms that this will happen, while other
people take the same moment and declare it confirms a different theory. As far
as I can make out, there are 2 popular theories and rather than deriving
conclusions from the trailer, people are using their theory to interpret the
trailer. They seem to hinge upon who Benedict Cumberbatch is playing, on the
assumption (which has been stated by producers to be true) that he’s a
character we’ve seen in the Original Series before.
So with that in mind, I’m dreaming up my own outlandish
theories and forcing the trailer to fit into them!
Theory 1: Benedict Cumberbatch is …HARRY MUDD!!
Hey, everyone is so excited about this mystery villain from
Trek’s past, well Harry is a pretty well known one. Yes, it would on the
surface appear to be a drastic re-imagining of Mudd’s character. But bear in
mind this movie will be taking place a lot earlier in the Trek timeline, maybe
before Harry discovered Bolian Snickers Pie?
My ridiculous justifications
Well, let’s say while trawling the spacelanes for old women
he can beautify up with illegal drugs and pimp out (see Mudd’s Women) Harry
stumbles upon some sort of weapon or power and in revenge for perceived slights
when he’s been arrested in the past, Mudd decides to remake the Earth in his
image…Mud! You see, this is obvious, as there’s the scene where the Enterprise
makes it’s splashdown into…water!. To make mud, you need to mix dirt and water!
So either Mudd crashes the Enterprise
into the sea to splash mud around, or has an underwater mudbase. Carol Marcus
is the pretty young scientist who’s developed an amazing new wash powder that
can be used against mud (and Mudd) while also having a romantic subplot with
Kirk. The crew must travel to the alien world that is the source of Mudd’s new
mud powers and then back to earth for the big splashdown showdown!
I think it’s pretty plausible! More plausible than my theory
that Cumberbatch is playing Edith Keeler anyway…
Theory 2: The main villain is GOD!
It’s the return of one of classic Trek’s favourite theme! An
awesome powerful being presents itself as a god until being taken down by good
old human ingenuity.
Like the Thasian’s powered up Charlie X and Q gave Riker Q
powers, some powerful race grabs Benedict Cumberbatch and powers him up,
unleashing his rampaging powers upon humanity. As the Enterprise crew finds a
way to defeat him, Kirk also has to give an impassioned speech to this powerful
race about leaving humanity to find its own destiny. Or possibly the gift of
amazing powers makes Cumberbatch’s character think he is God? Something like
that.
It would be very classic Trek to do a story like this. I
don’t know how well it would fit in the new re-imagined super realistic style
Trek we’re getting these days. And to be honest, the advanced being/godlike
powers thing works better in episodes and tends to fail dismally in movie
treks.
Theory 3: Benedict Cumberbatch is Darth Sidious.
Wait, getting confused….
Theory 3: Benedict Cumberbatch plays…Flint!
Actually this could work out. Flint, if you don’t remember
(or aren’t a massive nerd, but to be honest I doubt you’ll have got this far if
not) was an immortal human who built himself a robot wife, but needed Kirk to
teach the robot wife to love. Maybe in this timeline, Flint has been upset by
something and is all up for vengeful rampage against humanity! Somehow Carol
Marcus is drawn in, maybe Flint has been posing as her professor/mentor?
Y’know, before the vengeful madness. Hopefully he’ll build an army of robot
wives to devastate planets?!
Actually, it’s funny, but Flint actually could be a viable
candidate, except he wasn’t that memorable a character from TOS and also wasn’t
really a bad guy in the way that this movie seems to have one. But it’s an alternate
universe and he could have been changed by events since the Kelvin was
destroyed in some way so it’s not completely impossible. Just unlikely.
Theory 4: Benedict Cumberbatch is Kor! Or Koloth! Or Kang!
Or Kruge!
Look, I just really want some Klingons! It’s been years
since we’ve had any new Klingon wackiness! With their singing and their
fighting and their drinking! I want to see warriors charging through Enterprise
corridors with their bat’leths, I want to see Kirk go toe to toe with a smug
arrogant Klingon captain who revels in the idea of a glorious battle. Yes, I
know this isn’t happening, but if we all just close our eyes and wish really
really hard…
Ha, did I just make you wish for Klingons?!
