You see, often when I’m faced with a new challenge in my life, I like to look to my idols in the science fiction world to see how they handle it. For instance, when cooking for myself was becoming in issue as I advanced through my teens, Captain Sisko of Deep Space Nine was a brilliant example. I always carry a screwdriver and make sure to leave my droids outside of bars. So naturally, when my wife was expecting, I turned to my normal array of science fiction TV and film for advice.
Oh dear…
So I began with Star Trek. There’s actually no fathers at all there, except for Kirk, who stayed away from his son until forced to meet him when Khan stole the Genesis device. Ok, no help there.
Ok, The Next Generation must be more help? Picard, no children, hates kids. Riker? Had an imaginary son and mainly tried to teach him the trombone. Worf? Oh, right, packs the kid off to his grandparents or if he can’t get away with that, pretty much leaves it to Troi. Data? Built his own daughter and has no emotions. Oh and had her working in a bar!
Let’s move on to DS9! Sisko! Brilliant! Sisko seems on the surface to be a good example. Until you factor in he’s dragged Jake to a backwater run down space station where the only schooling opportunity is a class of mixed ages run by a botanist?! No disrespect to botanists or their field, but he’s not getting a well-rounded education there. Plus it shuts down after a year! After being blown up! Still Sisko persists with keeping his son, now without any school, wandering around an increasingly dangerous space station as the area degenerates into a war zone. Finally, Sisko conceives a second child and promptly ups and leaves to be a prophet and live in a wormhole, abandoning both children. I guess there’s O’Brien, but… well his wife and kids are so annoying, I can’t. I just can’t!
Voyager has one father, Tuvok, who’s probably great, but we never get to see any actual parenting. And again, Enterprise has no active father. I think Phlox has children, but they’re not seen.
Forget Trek then, let’s move onto other areas…
How about Star Wars? Hm, actually, I don’t need to think too
hard about this one do I? Me and my son would be happier not chopping limbs
off…
It’s not going well so far is it? What about the Buffyverse?
Well, Buffy’s dad left his family, her surrogate father, Giles, well I guess
he’s pretty ok, but there was the time he drugged her so she lost her Slayer
powers and locked her in a house with a vampire. And Angel? Well, he managed to
lose his son in a hell dimension with his worst enemy.
Batman! Right, ok his Dad was shot and killed in front of
him, causing severe emotional trauma. But Alfred was like his second father
from then? And he’s… pretty much let Bruce’s trauma overwhelm him to the point
he dresses like a bat and risks his life nightly fighting crime. Bruce’s own
son is encouraged to follow the same path while fighting his upbringing as a
cold blooded killer with a superiority complex. Not to mention Batman’s taken
on three other kids and encouraged them all to wallow in their pain and grief
to such an extent that they also feel the need to embark on a suicidal quest
for justice while wearing silly costumes. I hate to say it, but Batman sucks!
As a dad at least.
Superman? Sure, his biological father put his newborn child
in an experimental rocket and blasted him into space, which I think is grounds
for a referral to Social Services, but what about Jonathan Kent? He’s good
right? Actually, he is! There’s pretty much no problem with Pa Kent! Except DC
keep insisting on retconning Superman’s history to kill the poor guy off
earlier and earlier.
Right, we have one good father! Surely, I can find more?
Otherwise I’ll have to raise my child using my own judgement and common sense!
My search continues…
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